Broken and Lost

Broken and Lost

Leana Vibal

Broken and lost I wander

longing for a familiar encounter

tears pouring

heart breaking

walking walking walking

searching but finding nothing

Broken and lost I wander

stumbling, confuse like a lost traveler

I reach a store

I take refuge

just a cup, maybe a cone

no, no a pint

I get out and carry on

Broken and lost I wander

heart hurting, eyes filled with water

A song plays on the radio

Telling me to find someone like you

I hurriedly run away

saying I don't know what to do 

there isn't any other like you

Broken and lost I wander

As sadness shifts to anger

tears turn to rage

sobs morph to screams

Everything changed in a second

-A second is all it took

to lose something you found

to break something you fixed

A second is all it takes

to break a heart you promised to fix

Lesson Learned

Finally, the semester is about to end. 

This sem has been a roller coaster of emotions ranging from the good, to the bad to the ugly. I've never experienced a rockier sem from acads to social life, everything was just going up and down, left and right! But then again, with all the mixed emotions and jumbled feelings comes WISDOM AND LEARNING.  One of the greatest lessons I learned for this entire sem is something I didn't pick up within the four corners of the classroom but rather I picked it up while doing something extra curricular (if you know what I mean ;-P ). 

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -- Eleanor Roosevelt

It is actually an old quote and I thought before I understood what it meant but after this sem, I REALLY got its point. You see, you can rant, bitch and whine all you want about how someone doesn't treat you right or about how someone should treat you but unless you do something to stop it then you're just letting it happen. You're not trying to change anything. You may think that "oh eventually, things will change.",  well I have news for you, IT WON'T, UNLESS YOU FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU THINK SHOULD BE. I mean if they believe that nothing is wrong and that you're just taking it in then everything will stay the same but if they see that there is something wrong, that something is not as effective as it should be then most probably there will be changes. Also, think of it this way, Inferiority and Superiority is a matter of perspective. If you see yourself as oppressed or abused then that's what you are but if you hold your head up high, refuse to take the crap that they give you then you're not inferior nor abused. 

Everything here all goes back to you. Will you just stay there and let shit happen and just clean it up later? Or will you tell those people that "HEY, I'm not a freaking toilet! Go find some other place to throw your shit at"....

Which road to take?

Today, I am faced with a very difficult decision. I have to make a choice on whether or not I should participate in the AIESEC A'Camp this coming Saturday. Sounds like something light and easy? Well, I think not. You see AIESEC is a really great organization that I really wish I could be a part of and one of their selection requirements is to attend this event. But sadly, let's just say that the camp was sandwiched by two exams and one of the two is for my major. Normally, I would just say, "to hell with it, I'm going to the camp" but this particular major is DIFFICULT and to not study for the exam is suicidal! I am not entirely confident if I can pass it if I were to attend the camp and just study after I arrive. You see we leave the camp site at 5 pm so that means I will arrive home at around 8. That leaves me a very tired girl with lots of studying to do....


HAAAAY sadly, I must make the decision tonight for tomorrow is the deadline for payments. I want to be an AIESECer but my acads SHOULD NEVER SUFFER! @_@


choices choices choices.... decisions decisions decisions.... (and either way) regrets regrets regrets...




I would like to share this poem by Robert Frost called The Road Not Taken because it fits my situation...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference. 

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It's feel good SATURDAY!

For some unknown reason, I feel exceptionally happy today. HAHA. I don't know if that's due to the fact that after a very stressful FIRST WEEK OF CLASSES (dundundun) or maybe because it's not a hot day. Seriously, I'm just plain happy.


So, what does me being exceptionally happy got to do with you? What's it to you? Well, actually nothing but whenever I'm happy, I like to share it with people and aside from blogging about it, I'd like to share to y'all a set list of all my happy vibes song playlist! (yey!)


1. Pangarap Lang Kita (Parokya Ni Edgar ft. Happee Sy)- I know I know it isn't a HAPPY song but just listen to it and feel the melody. It'll make you feel good.


2. What Can I Do (The Corrs)


3. Runaway (The Corrs)


4. Radio (The Corrs)


5. Just The Way You Are (Bruno Mars)- Also for days when I feel like shit... you know what I mean.


6. When You Say Nothing At All (Allison Kraus)


7. How You Love Me Now (Hey Monday)


8. Fallin' For You (Colbie Caillait)


9. Speak Now (Taylor Swift)

10. Say It Again (Marie Digby)


11. Firework (Katy Perry)


12. Last Friday Night. TGIF (Katy Perry)- when I listen to this, I also watch the video because the video is just so HILARIOUS! 


13. Beautiful Soul (Jesse Mc Cartney)


14. Why Can't I (Liz Phair)


15. Marry You (Glee Cast Version)


16. Change Your Mind (Boyce Avenue)


17. I'd Lie (Taylor Swift)


18. Love Song (Sara Bareilles)


19. Sparks Fly (Taylor Swift)


20. I Do (Colbie Caillait)


21. Silly Love Songs (Glee Cast Version)


22. If It's Love (Train)


23. You And Me (Lifehouse)


24. You And I Both (Jason Mraz)


25. I'm Yours (Jason Mraz)


those are my favorite happy good vibes songs. I'll add more when I feel like it... HAHA try listening to them and tell me how you feel!


ENJOY!

MY SUMMER BUCKETLIST...

These are the things that I plan to accomplish before SUMMER 2011 ends...

I have categorized them into three levels of difficulty:

EASY

AVERAGE 

DIFFICULT

for me to call SUMMER 2011 "Productive" I must be able to accomplish:

-ALL EASY TASKS

- AT LEAST 3 AVERAGE TASKS

- AT LEAST 2 DIFFICULT TASKS

THE TASKS ARE:

EASY:

-get a new hairstyle

-photograph... photograph.. photograph

-read at least 4 books

- have Larry "the laptop" reformatted

-start painting/ working on art

- play with Schmoo "the dog" at least twice a week

AVERAGE:

-go to Loyola and Stargaze (at least two nights)

-get best pictures printed and framed

-get student driver's permit

-finish at least one work of art

-learn to cook something aside from aglio olio

DIFFICULT:

-learn to play at least one song on the guitar

- go on a summer adventure 

- redecorate room

-learn to drive

- make a scrapbook

MY SUMMER BUCKET LIST 

I hope I can do all of these :)


PBS: I shall blog about the completion of every task :)

YOU CAN'T BLAME CHINA AND CALL THEM HEARTLESS FOR ENFORCING THEIR LAWS.

No matter which way you look at it, the Filipinos broke the law. Therefore, they must be punished accordingly. What kind of message are you sending to the world when you give SCHOLARSHIPS and FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE to the families of the drug mules? It’s almost like saying it’s acceptable.

Yes, they are just the mules. Yes, there are other people who should be blamed but let us not forget that these people MADE A CHOICE. They chose to carry on with the job despite the fact that they are AWARE that what they are doing is wrong. WHO CARRIES AROUND 5 KILOS of DRUGS and not know what it is? WHO SAYS THIS WAS THEIR FIRST DELIVERY JOB?

All I am saying is that people should still remember that these people broke the law. The law is the law for everyone. If the law goes soft for any sob story out there then ANARCHY will ensue. These people made a choice. They chose the easy way to earn money. They chose the easy way out but in the end it’s still the wrong decision…

IT WAS THEIR CHOICE. So why should people blame china??? Why should their families earn the sympathy of people? Why should the families earn assistance from the government? WHY??? If the government or any private body should give the families of the mules any assistance, then wouldn’t it be just fair to give assistance to all the families of convicted criminals?…. I’M JUST SAYING. STOP THE SYMPATHY PARADE PLEASE. PEOPLE MUST LEARN!

BETTER THAN REVENGE

They say there no sweeter taste than the taste of vengeance...


HAHA. I discovered this song by Taylor Swift called "BETTER THAN REVENGE" and being a total Taylor Swift fan, I immediately downloaded it. So, after downloading it, i kept on listening to it and BOOM!!! It suddenly hit me why I was so attracted to the song.. I COULD TOTALLY RELATE TO IT... :)))))

"Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did"

Time for revenge

The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and...

I had it all, I had him right where I wanted him

She came along, got him alone and let's hear the applause

She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"

I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it

I underestimated just who I was dealing with

She had to know the pain was beating in me like a drum

She underestimated just who she was stealing from

She's not a saint

And she's not what you think

She's an actress, whoa

But she's better known

For the things that she does

On the mattress, whoa

Soon she's gonna find

Stealing other people's toys

On the playground won't

Make you many friends

She should keep in mind

She should keep in mind

There is nothing I do better than revenge

She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list

She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it

I think her ever present frown is a little troubling

And she thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things

But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know

Or pushing people down to get to where you wanna go

They wouldn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me

But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity

She's not a saint

And she's not what you think

She's an actress, whoa

But she's better known

For the things that she does

On the mattress, whoa

Soon she's gonna find

Stealing other people's toys

On the playground won't

Make you many friends

She should keep in mind

She should keep in mind

There is nothing I do better than revenge

I'm just another thing for you

To roll your eyes at, honey

You might have him but haven't you heard

I'm just another thing for you

To roll your eyes at, honey

You might have him but I always get the last word

She's not a saint

And she's not what you think

She's an actress, whoa

She's better known

For the things that she does

On the mattress, whoa

Soon she's gonna find

Stealing other people's toys

On the playground won't

Make you many friends

She should keep in mind

She should keep in mind

There is nothing I do better than revenge

Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?

'cause I don't think you do.

Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?

I don't think you do

I don't think you do

Let's hear the applause

Come on show me how much better you are (so much better, yeah)

So you deserve some applause 'cause you're so much better

She took him faster than you could say "sabotage

Yea, it's been what? TWO YEARS? hahaha but still I find it annoying that it went down like that. I mean, I don't regret anything but I can't really explain it but there is this something that really annoys me about that "thing". There is just something about your first heartbreak that you can't let go. Some even say it's the most painful... but I still don't know if I agree though because for me it wasn't really PAINFUL per se but it was more of ENRAGING (?) that someone could do that to someone who they say is IMPORTANT to them... I still don't get how someone could do that..


But in time, I learned to embrace that experience and just move on and learn from it... I even learned to forgive that someone... but the other person, I still don't know... but you know, anything is possible and maybe they do deserve each other... And I deserve someone better... <3

VALENTINE'S DAY MOVIE PLAYLIST :)

So just like what I said before...

I will be all alone this V-day...

No special someone...

No date...

BUT! I won't be sad...

Because

Despite the fact that I won't be with anyone

I have a killer day planned for myself

Aside from my AWESOME playlist which I posted earlier (and just wait for its sequel which is equally AWESOME)

I WILL WATCH A TON OF ROMANCE and ROMANTIC COMEDY MOVIES THAT DAY!!!

(haha suck it people who have dates! :P I have better plans than you :P)

My mom and I bought lots of DVDs last weekend and being who I am which is someone who loves romance and romantic comedies (plus the occasional thriller and mind movies) I asked mom to by me a bunch of the lot... And once we came home, as I was about to go on to a movie marathon, I thought about reserving the ROM and ROM COM movies for Feb 14. Awesome right?

So here are the movies that are in line for my MOVIE MARATHON day of FEB 14 :)

1. My Amnesia Girl (Toni Gonzaga and John Lloyd Cruz)

2. Shakespeare in Love (Gwyneth Paltrow and Joseph Fiennes)

3. Romeo and Juliet (Leonardo Di Caprio and Claire Danes)

4. Going the Distance (Drew Barrymore and Justin Long)

5. Love and Other Drugs (Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal)

6. A Walk to Remember (Mandy Moore and Shane West)

7. Little Manhattan

8. Dear John (Amanda Syfried and Channing Tatum)

9. 500 Days of Summer (Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt)

10. Easy A (Emma Stone)

11. Last Song (Miley Cyrus)

12. Letters to Juliet (Amanda Syfried)

13. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 

and yes, I know this isn't a movie but I can't help but have a

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER MARATHON on V-day

So all I can say... Valentine's Day.. BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VALENTINE'S DAY PLAYLIST part 1

So V-day is once again upon us...

time for those with significant others to bask in the sweetness of their romance

and for the ones who haven't found their SPECIAL SOMEONE yet (like myself) this is a time to reflect on the things that made you happy and felt loved...

Let us not be bitter just because we don't have a special someone...

Why not celebrate your love for yourself? your family? your friends...

But if you really can't get over the LOVE BUG... 

bask in the sweetness of  love by listening to these love tunes...

THESE ARE MY ALL TIME FAVORITE LOVE SONGS:

(in no particular order)

1. You and Me- Lifehouse

2. Only Hope- Switchfoot

3. Tuloy Pa Rin- Metafour

4. Just the Way You Are- Bruno Mars

5. Vanilla Twilight- Owl City

6. If It's Love- Train

7. Iris- Goo Goo Dolls

8. When You Say Nothing At All- Ronan Keating

9. Hiling -Silent Sanctuary

10. Kundiman- Silent Sanctuary

11. Heaven Knows- Rick Price

12. Now- MYMP

13. Crush- David Archuleta

14. Stolen- Dashboard Confessional

15. Marry You- Bruno Mars

16. Fallin' For You- Colbie Calliat

17. Little Things- Colbie Calliat

18. Smile (Charlie Chaplin Version)- Glee Cover

19. Somebody to Love- Glee Cover

20. Ikaw Lamang- Silent Sanctuary

21. Parol- Silent Sanctuary

22. Two Worlds Collide- Demi Lovato

23. Don't Forget- Demi Lovato

24. Say It Again- Marie Digby

25. Love Song- Sara Bareilles

26. I'd Lie- Taylor Swift

27. Crazier- Taylor Swift

28. Just Friends- Jonas Brothers

29. Someday We'll Know- Mandy Moore

30. Everywhere- Michelle Branch

31. Breathe- Michelle Branch

32. Radio- The Corrs

33. Summer Sunshine- The Corrs

34. Can I Have This Dance- HSM 3

35. Teenage Dream- Katy Perry/ Glee Cast

36. Love Bug- Jonas Brothers

37. Enchanted- Taylor Swift

38. Greatest Story Ever Told-

39. 14- Silent Sanctuary

40. Change Your Mind- Boyce Avenue

41. To Be With You- Mr. Big

42. Don't Know Why- Norah Jones

43.  Why Can't I- Liz Phair

44. About You Now- Sugababes

45. You Are the Music In Me- HSM 2

TO BE CONTINUED....

Just the way you are

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

Bruno Mars

Oh her eyes, her eyes

Make the stars look like they're not shining

Her hair, her hair

Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful

And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know

When I compliment her

She wont believe me

And its so, its so

Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay

I say

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile,

The whole world stops and stares for awhile

Cause girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails

I could kiss them all day if she'd let me

Her laugh, her laugh

She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful

And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know

Id never ask you to change

If perfect is what you're searching for

Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking

If you look okay

You know I say

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile,

The whole world stops and stares for awhile

Cause girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

The way you are

The way you are

Girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile,

The whole world stops and stares for awhile

Cause girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

I think i would be lying if I said I didn't want a guy telling me he likes me just the way I am. But when I think about it, does that guy really exist?

Think about it, we are constantly bombarded with ideas on self-improvement and reinvention so much that we start losing who we really are. We start changing so much that nothing really is ever the same and I think then maybe that person should just keep up and continue on liking me despite my constant changing but then again I remember everyone has limits. So I go back to my original question, DOES THE GUY WHO WILL LOVE ME JUST THE WAY I AM EXIST? DESPITE THE FACT I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?

BUT...

there is this other side to "JUST THE WAY YOU ARE" that can mean like the first thought, WHO YOU ARE or it can mean DESPITE YOUR IMPERFECTIONS... 

Now, the guy who can love you despite your imperfections is easier to find. Why? Well, maybe because unlike other factors IMPERFECTIONS tend to be more stubborn and have a lesser tendency to change every so often....

I don't know why I'm writing this, well maybe I do but I don't want to accept it... But I just hope that the guy who will love me JUST THE WAY I AM (anyway you want to define it) comes soon... 'Cause I don't think I can take more crap from people who just want to toy with my emotions... and I hope that these people will change and find their own SOMEONE...

Valentine's Day is around the corner... Let's spread love :)

Yet again I am alone on this splendid day of love... (but this is another post for later...)

bruno mars knows how to treat a girl right... learn from him boys.. learn from him

SOMEONE ASKED ME....

SOMEONE ASKED ME...

ANO MAS MAHIRAP LOVE OR MATH?

THIS IS MY ANSWER:

LOVE. You can always learn the principles, techniques and patterns of MATH but LOVE in it’s very essence is irrational and it can never be explained and mastered… we will just forever be forced to just take risks and chances without ever knowing if we actually made the right decision and all we’re left to do is just live with the choices we’ve made… unlike in MATH where once the mistake is made we could easily correct it...

does anyone disagree with me?

DREAMS. what are they?

Dreams. 

What do they tell you?

Some say your desires

Some say your insecurities and fears

But, is it possible that your dreams can also show you what's in store?

Is it possible for dreams to predict what is going to happen? 

Are dreams gateways to the past and the future?

Will they be real?

Were they real? 

You'll never know.

That's just it- You'll never know

So why would you waste your time decoding something unsure?

Why not just live your life?

What if by dwelling in the realm of dreams you lose your life's essence?

Then your dreams seem so stupid then, don't they?

So live your life.

Live it well.

Go with the flow.

Experience it.

Don't try to look to far out nor too far back.

It never does any good to dwell on things you can't change nor control.

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Random ramblings from someone who really believes in the power of dreams. Also because most of the time, I have very vivid dreams that more or less come true. Scary noh? If I had time I'd share one perfect instance. One should note that every time I retell that story I still get the creeps 'cause it was just so  ACCURATE.

HEY HEY. this ain't no poem.... they're just random thoughts center aligned... @_@

BEAUTY. (I can finally post this now that it's done)

In our speech communication class, we were tasked to make an abstract word a little bit more concrete by making a short presentation. My partner and I opted for the simplistic PSA approach. I would say everything went well except for the fact that once again TECHNOLOGY has let me down... You see alongside the PSA speech thing, I also prepared a Musical Picture Slideshow to drive our point further into the minds of our audience, but sad to say, the room we used didn't have a projector so instead of a Musical Picture Slideshow, we ended up having background music with a PSA type thing.... WEll, surprisingly it still went well... HAHA. though I would have loved for the chance to have the video play I'll just take what I can get :) Anyway, it was still good... :)

So here is the piece entitled What is Beauty that we used for the presentation:
BTW. "JARED" is the name of my partner for the presentation... :)

WHAT IS BEAUTY?

Leana Isabel Vibal

LEANA: Beauty- What is beauty?

JARED: Every day we are bombarded by the media with images that instill upon us a stereotype of what it takes to be considered beautiful

LEANA: But does it mean that if something doesn’t fit into what is perceived by most to be beautiful then that something is no longer appealing?

JARED & LEANA: NO! It doesn’t work that way.

JARED: Beauty isn’t about a muscular body and a rugged face

LEANA: Nor is it about a skinny body and a sweet smile.

JARED: Beauty isn’t about having color, design and style

LEANA: Neither is it about perfection

JARED & LEANA: DEFINITELY NOT!

JARED: Beauty is an attribute possessed by anything that exists in this world that provides a perceptual sense of pleasure or satisfaction.

LEANA: Meaning everything and everyone possesses some kind of beauty. Meaning EVERYONE in this room is a manifestation of the beauty of the world.

JARED: but whether or not that beauty is appreciated is relative.

LEANA: Because what is beautiful for you may not be beautiful to someone else.

JARED: Remember BEAUTY ISN’T ABSOLUTE.

LEANA: Just like what David Herbert Lawrence says "Beauty is an experience, nothing else. It is not a fixed pattern or an arrangement of features. It is something felt, a glow or a communicated sense of fineness.

JARED: So every once in a while, tell yourself I am beautiful.

LEANA: because you are, YOU PERSONIFY BEAUTY IN YOUR OWN SPECIAL WAY.

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My professor called it short and simple which was exactly what I was going for when I wrote the piece. Because, just like beauty, things need not be overly embellished for it to be considered GOOD or APPEALING sometimes  SIMPLICITY is the BEST POLICY :P